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Thursday, 28 June 2012

50 Shades of Grape

My latest scintillating page-turner
Printable version:

50 Shades of Grape

by Dan Fish

Susan was a grape.  A green grape, just ripe.  If she was Human, she'd be a really really sexy human, with pertness in all the right places.  As it was, she was a grape, nothing could change that.  But she was a very very sexy grape, if such a thing could be.  Which it could, because Susan was that thing.

Susan was part of a bunch of grapes.  Thats just how it was for now.  She'd never tried to count her fellow grapes, but at a guess it was more than ten, less than a hndred.  Probably somewhere around the middle mark.  If you'd put a gun to her head (if she had one), she would have guesstimated around 50 or so.  But that's all it was.  A guesstimate.  

She never realised just how close that guesstimate was.  But it was close.  She was smart, as well as sexy.  But still a grape.  Albeit a smart, sexy grape.  

But there was also another thing she had noticed.

Each of her fellow grapes was a different shade.  

Oh, don't get me wrong, they were all green grapes.  Nothing could change that.  Thats just the way it was.
But, if she was to assume her guesstimate was correct (and it was), then one conclusion rang loudly in her ears (if she'd had them, like some freaky grape freak of nature) -  

There had to be 50 shades of grape.  50 sexy shades.  Each shade might be thought of as sexier that the last, in grape terms.  

Just the thought of it made Susan ripen.  All those shades of Grape, bunched together like the bunch of grapes they literally were.  Each pert grape-like orb, jostling against each other.  In the farmyard.  In the back of a lorry.  At the supermarket, and finally here, in the dark fridge.  

The darkness was like a blindfold, pointless anyway, because grapes don't have eyes.  Which was very sexy.  She didn't mind.  She was a grape, thats all that mattered, nothing could change that.  She imagined all the things shemight do, and felt very sexy.  

Over the coming days, she enjoyed the feeling of being a grape, firm pertness thrusting against her from th eother grapes, as she was transferred, with her fellow grapes to a fruitbowl.

She sighed with pleasure, as she was pulled forcefully from the rest of the bunch.  Sensually, she slid into the mouth of the sexy human, who bit her.  She liked it.  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Genius. I laughed. :)

Also, thanks for the mini comic you gave me at Thought Bubble about Trevor the Ant. You came out of nowhere like a ninja, handed me the mini comic then made a run for it. I enjoyed Trevor the Ants Enormous Escapades in Time very much, thanks. :)